How To Pick Up Girls
by White Rose Phantom
Summary: The Bachelors from Harvest Moon attempt to woo the girls in the most humorous and some-what romantic ways.
1. Animal Parade

Hiya guys :D I decided to do this fun little story about how the Bachelors of Harvest Moon would try to "woo" the bachelorettes xD These are all pretty silly but it was fun writing them!

All the Bachelors are going to woo their rival Bachelorette because I don't want the poor farmer girl to be like a seven-timer! The farmer girl will be in the ones that don't have rival pairings (like Harvest King and Wizard) Soooo, let's begin :D

First up! Animal Parade/Tree of Tranquility guys!

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harvest Moon.**

Characters might be waaaay OOC!

* * *

><p><strong>Jin<strong>

"I know the every single part of the body, now why don't you let me get to know yours?" The doctor said, suggestively eyeing the blushing Anissa.

* * *

><p><strong>Calvin<strong>

"I have seen a lot of precious jems in these mines, but not any as beautiful as you," Calvin said with a smirk at Pheobe.

* * *

><p><strong>Chase<strong>

"..." Chase stared blanking at Maya, "Must I really say some stupid pick-up line?"

"Yes you do! Come on Chasee!" Maya tugged on the young chef's arm.

"How about I make you a Chesnut Cake instead." Chase tried to reason with the food-loving girl.

Maya's eyes lit up and she happily replied, "Okay! Let's go!"

Chase shook his head, but at least he got out of making a fool out of himself, for now.

* * *

><p><strong>Julius<strong>

"Candance, my dear, how about I make an outfit specially for you," Julius began, "Now how about I measure that body of yours just to make sure everything fits perefectly..." The purple hair man smiled as how flustered the blue haired girl had gotten.

* * *

><p><strong>Luke<strong>

"Damn Selena, your body is fine! I'd like some of that!" Luke said with a wolf whistle.

This caused Selena to slap him upside the head.

* * *

><p><strong>Owen<strong>

"I know you're good at riding horses, how about you try riding _other things, _" Owen said with a waggle of his eyebrows to the appalled blonde waitress.

* * *

><p><strong>Toby<strong>

"There's a lot of fish in the sea, but my favorite fish is you." Despite the cheesy line from the fisherman, Renee still blushed.

* * *

><p><strong>Gill<strong>

"You said you're not a child Luna, how about you prove that to me by having some _fun_," The blonde smirked at the now flustered tailor.

* * *

><p><strong>Harvest King<strong>

"You insolent human! You really think I would take part in these demeaning actions!" The Harvest King refused to say more to the young heroine and Finn.

* * *

><p><strong>Wizard<strong>

"..." The Wizard stared at Hikari with a captivated look.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" questioned the young heroine.

"You...enchant me."

* * *

><p>Okies~ How'd you guys like them? Next up are the guys from Sunshine Islands :D<p> 


	2. Sunshine Islands

Okies~ Here are the Sunshine Island bachelors attempting to woo the bachelorettes!

* * *

><p><strong>Denny<strong>

"Your voice is so enchanting, I swear all the fish fell silent in awe!" Lanna stared incredulously at the fisherman but smiled none the less at the sweet attempt at a compliment.

* * *

><p><strong>Elliot<strong>

"Ummm, umm, JULIA YOU'RE PRETTY!" The bashful boy stammered a bit before he screamed at the amused Julia.

* * *

><p><strong>Pierre<strong>

"I have tasted a lot of delicious things in the world, but nothing compares to the taste of your lips~" The young Gourmet said childishly at Natalie, who was blushing profusely.

* * *

><p><strong>Shea <strong>

"Pick up…?' The wild man was confused for a moment, "Oh okay!" He then scooped up the bandana wearing farm girl into his arms.

"What are you doing Shea?" The baffled farm girl was now as red as her bandana.

"Shea pick up Chelsea!" The young man mused innocently as he rubbed his nose against the girl's warm cheek.

* * *

><p><strong>Mark<strong>

"I know you love teddy bears, but I can be your special teddy bear!" The Witch Princess gave the blonde farmer a contemplative look, as if she was considering turning him into a bear.

* * *

><p><strong>Vaughn<strong>

"I am not doing this." The silver haired cowboy growled and then walked away to tend to some cows.

* * *

><p><strong>Will<strong>

"My lady, you are truly a beauty. No gem is more precious than you and no flower is more alluring than my dear Lily." Will's natural charm was causing the treaure hunter to blush a light pink.

* * *

><p>Ahhh don't you just love these Harvest Moon guys :3<p>

I have no idea which guys to do next :P Have any ideas?


	3. Mineral Town

Hi :D So, time for more funny wooing by Harvest Moon Bachelors! This time, it's the Mineral Town guy~ Enjoy!

* * *

><p><strong>Cliff<strong>

"I always felt like a lost soul, but now that I've found you, I know where I belong…" The bashful Cliff twiddled his thumbs as he looked shyly at the blushing Ann.

* * *

><p><strong>Doctor<strong>

"I know you've been my loyal assistant in the Clinic, Elli, but how about you assist me in some _personal things?_" The Doctor's request turned Elli's cheeks a vibrant red.

* * *

><p><strong>Gray<strong>

"You always read these romantic novels with happy endings," Gray started, uncovering Mary's face from the book, "how about we create our own happy ending?"

* * *

><p><strong>Gourmet<strong>

"You look so delicious, I could just eat you up!" the Gourmet proclaimed while licking his lips. Claire could only look at the culinary expert with a frightened look, wondering if he was being serious or not.

* * *

><p><strong>Kai<strong>

"I know I only see you during the summer, but I bet you always look hot and steamy!" Kai said with a flirtatious grin, "Maybe I'll stay for the rest of the year, you alone could be my personal summer." Popuri proceeded to blush as very _hot and steamy _images filled her pink-haired head.

* * *

><p><strong>Rick<strong>

"Hey Karen, how about I take you home today? I am very good with chicks," the chicken farmer winked at Karen while she only gave him an incredulous look, wine bottle in hand.

* * *

><p><strong>Won<strong>

"Hey Claire, how about we play a different kind of game today," the merchant smirked flirtatiously at the blonde farmer, "let's just say it takes place in a very comfy place…"

* * *

><p><strong>Kappa<strong>

"Kappa loves Claire more than cucumbers~" The green monster smiled its aquatic smile at the befuddled blonde.

"Uhhh..thanks?"

* * *

><p>I really do feel sorry for poor Claire in this one! She gets all the weirdest bachelors! So any idea who I should do next?<p> 


	4. Flower Bud Village

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! *spazz spazz spazz* OMG I GOT DOUBLE DIGIT NUMBER OF REVIEWS! Thanks to everyone that reviewed :3 You guys made me a happy person~

So! On with more randomness from the bachelors of Flower Bud Village! Enjoy guys~

* * *

><p><strong>Alex<strong>

"Gina, you always take care of me when I'm sick, how about I take care of you tonight…?" The doctor's tone was enough to make the blue-haired nurse turn bright red.

* * *

><p><strong>Basil<strong>

"I have studies a lot of plants but not a single one has looked more beautiful or smelled as divine as you." The plant hunter smiled gently at Nina, whose face was turning the same color as her hair.

* * *

><p><strong>Blue<strong>

"I'm very good when it comes to animals Ann," the hat wearing farmhand began staring intently at the red-headed inventor, "but there's a lot more _things _I am good at."

* * *

><p><strong>Bob<strong>

"As you can see,_ everything_ about me is big." Bob said with a smirk at the blonde horse lover Gwen.

* * *

><p><strong>Carl<strong>

"Pastries aren't the only thing I make that tastes delicious." The young waiter shyly smiled at a surprised Ellen.

* * *

><p><strong>Dan<strong>

"Eve, you are the hottest thing I have ever laid eyes on! How about you join me tonight for a moonlit walk, a glass of wine, and then some fun in bed?" The drunken Dan slurred out the words as Eve watched with amused ruby eyes.

* * *

><p><strong>Joe<strong>

"Katie! You are one cute waitress! I bet you taste just a sweet as you look!" Joe said humorously at the flustered girl.

* * *

><p><strong>Kurt<strong>

"You know, carpentry isn't the only thing I'm good at with my hands…" The cool carpenter whispered huskily into the green-eyed girl's ear, causing her face to become hot.

* * *

><p><strong>Louis <strong>

"Ly-Lyla! You are the prettiest creation to ever walk the Earth!" the nervous inventor said shakily to a sweetly smiling Lyla.

* * *

><p><strong>Ray<strong>

"This fishing pole isn't the only rod I'm good at using," the fisherman said with an arrogant smirk towards the bewildered librarian.

* * *

><p><strong>Jaime<strong>

"You're an idiot," the purple-haired poncho-wearing farmer said to the childish pigtailed farmer.

With a small smile, he finished, "but you're my idiot."

* * *

><p>Wow there was a lot of Bachelors in Flower Bud Village! Well hope you guys liked it~<p>

I'm thinking of maybe doing the Bachelors from Tale of Two Towns next and just using Lillian and not rivals. And then maybe having Phillip be a player and use pick-up lines on all the other Bachelorettes :] Any opinions about that?


	5. Tale of Two Towns

:D :D :D

I'm soooo happy for all the reviews :3 Thank you guys sooooooo much for reviewing! You do not know how happy they make me!

Okay~ Now it's time for the Bachelors from Bluebell and Konohana :D Plus, Phillip shows off his flirting skills ;)

* * *

><p><strong>Ash<strong>

"I always play with Cheryl and she says I'm great, but how about I _play_ with you, Lillian, and you can tell me how much you enjoyed it." Lavender eyes widened before Ash pounced on the female farmer.

* * *

><p><strong>Cam<strong>

"If you were a flower, you'd be a red rose. They mean love, beauty, and _desire._" The florist warm breath tickled Lillian's ear and her face was the color of a red rose after the words left his lips.

* * *

><p><strong>Hiro<strong>

Face red from a mixture of embarrassment, anxiety, and shyness, Hiro twiddled his thumbs and muttered, "If you ever have time, or the need to, I could give you a fully body exam," he quickly squeaked afterwards, "just to make sure you're healthy!"

* * *

><p><strong>Kana<strong>

"Yo Lillian! I love hot and spicy things like Spicy Curry, Ultimate Curry, Kimchi Stew**, you**, Bibimbap, and Curry Dumplings." Kana said with a smirk, "Oh and horses! I looove horses! Aren't they just the greatest! Like Hayate! I've never seen a creature as magnificent….." His eyes shone with passion and his hand fisted his chest as he ranted on about the awesomeness of horses.

Lillian could only sweat-drop as the horse-lover continued to talk about his passion.

* * *

><p><strong>Dirk<strong>

"Hey Lillian, I have a special _package_ just for you~" The mail carrier exclaimed playfully to the blushing farm girl.

* * *

><p><strong>Mikhail <strong>

"My fingers can create beautiful music on the violin," the violinist began, "why don't you let me try to create beautiful music with you?"

* * *

><p><strong>Phillip<strong>

"Hey Laney, since you make such good desserts, how about you make something _special_, just for me?" The farmer boy looked oh so innocently towards the blushing blonde.

* * *

><p>"Georgia! You are quite the Southern Belle! I'd love to hear what my name would sound like if you scream it in that cute accent of yours!" The red-head turned a vibrant scarlett at Phillip's words.<p>

* * *

><p>"Since you like studying plants so much, how about I give you a little sample of the seeds I can make?" Reina blushed madly, trying to think about plants and not the farmer's request.<p>

* * *

><p>"Nori! Can you make me some new clothes? And while you're at it, you should measure me…<em>all<em> of me, just to make sure everything fits properly..." Phillip smirked at the black-haired girl's flustered reaction.

* * *

><p>"I think I have a problem, Oracle. I can't stop thinking about you day and night. Do you think you have a little something for that? " Phillip's mock-curious tone made the Oracle smile and blush a bit.<p>

* * *

><p>"Hey Harvest Goddess-" Philip began.<p>

"SHUT UP PHILLIP!"

* * *

><p>Ahhh Phillip xD<p>

I'm not really sure what to do next~ Maybe the people from Forget-Me-Not valley~ Cause I think they're the only ones left xD Minus Grand Bazaar, but I still need to play the game to get to know the characters first :P

Well~ Thanks again for all the reviews :D And if you have time, please review~ They make me a happy girl!


	6. ForgetMeNot Valley

Soooooo we're nearing the end of How To Pick Up Girls :( There's only this one and then Grand Bazaar left. So saddening…Well I could always do My Little Shop except I don't think you can even get married in there.

But~ On a brighter note, that means I can focus on Starlight, Starbright :3 If you guys like Harvest KingxHikari or WizardxHikari I recommend you go read those drabbles(well there's only like one right now but there will be more later!)~ And if you want to see the Harvest King say an actual pick-up line(kinda) read the first drabble ;)

So! To the pick-up lines! Enjoy~

* * *

><p><strong>Carter<strong>

"I always love it when you find something new for me to discover, but how about now you let me discover you?" The serious excavator was now slyly glancing over at his blushing partner.

* * *

><p><strong>Griffin<strong>

"I gave you a place to stay and a job when you first got here, how about you give me something now to _repay_ me…" The bartender tossed a suggestive glance at the attractive blonde.

* * *

><p><strong>Gustafa<strong>

"I love to become one with nature, but I'd love to become one with the most beautiful creations the Earth has of offer, you." The red-headed girl was now as red as her hair.

* * *

><p><strong>Marlin<strong>

"Even though I have poor health, there are still some _physical activities_ that I can excel at." The young farmhand blushed at Marlin's words.

* * *

><p><strong>Rock<strong>

"Yo Lumina! You're good at the piano right? Are those hands of yours good at playing with _other things?_" Rock quickly glanced from Lumina's hands to his "little friend" that was covered by white pants. Appalled at Rock's words and suggestive glance, Lumina couldn't manage to do anything but blush stand there with her mouth agape.

* * *

><p><strong>Skye<strong>

"My dear Jill, how about you let me sweep you off your feet, steal your heart, and take something _very precious_ from you?" The charming Phantom Skye winked at the farm girl, a rose in hand.

* * *

><p>If was so awkward writing these pick-up lines cause most of these bachelors were old! I dunno what they were thinking when they made old geezers be bachelors! I love Skye though~ Even though I did think the way he dressed was weird :P<p>

Hmm you guys have any ideas of what to do next? I'm tempted to do a How To Pick Up Guys and have the bachelorettes do silly things! Any comments about that idea?


	7. Author's Note

Sorry but this isn't an update :P I think you guys will like this though~

* * *

><p>Hi there guys! Rose here and I have a little idea! I was thinking of having you guys request NON-CANNON couples to do for this pick-up lines~ Well you can also request BachelorxMainFarmerGirl too cause I like those :3 floridapanther28 subtlety (not really) hinted that she'd like for me to do this so since now that I know at least one person would actually like if I took requests, I'm open for requests :]<p>

So~ Umm I guess just leave a review with what couple you'd like for me to do and I'll try my best to do it :] But there are a handful of pairings that I will absolutely refuse to do! Actually there's only one :P And that's Harvest KingxAnyone that's not Hikari~ So don't even bother requesting any with him in it! Oh and I won't do GuyxGuy or GirlxGirl cause that's just a bit too awkward for me :P Sorry but I am an awkward person.

I'm not sure if I'll get the requests before or after Grand Bazaar, but I'll probably do them before since I still haven't gotten around to playing the game yet.

* * *

><p>AND! I'd like to thank everyone soooooo very much for all the reviews :3 I'm uber happy :D I'm sorry I can't reply to each one individually cause there's getting to be alot and I can't remember which one's I already replied too ^^; I'm sorry! But <strong><em><span>THANK YOU!<span>_ **No amount of caps lock, bolding, underlining, and italicizing can describe my gratitude~


	8. Requests 1

Sorry guys for the ridiculously long wait! School started again so I've been busy :P Well, here are the first couple of requests~ REQUESTS ARE STILL OPEN! So request away :D

Enjoy guys~ :]

NOTE: Characters might be waaaay outta character but hey, it makes them funny :D Plus, you don't know how they are behind closed doors! The quietest, shyest people sometimes end up being the dirtiest xD

* * *

><p><strong>DennyxChelsea <strong>

"How about we go to the beach together and swim with the fish? But let's leave our clothes so we can be at one with the sea." Scarlet painted the farm girl's face as the tanned fisherman winked at her.

* * *

><p><strong>GillxNami<strong>

"I know you enjoy wandering around, but how about you wander somewhere with me…." The young blonde male smirked at the surprised red-head.

* * *

><p><strong>GillxVivi<strong>

"You don't need to put a spell on me, I'm already entranced by you." The Witch Princess smirked lustfully at the well-dressed man's words.

* * *

><p><strong>AshxChelsea<strong>

"Hey Chels, how about you and I take care of some stuff in the barn…alone." The bandana-wearing farmer's eyes widened as the Bluebell farmer dragged her towards the empty barn.

* * *

><p><strong>KurtxNatalie<strong>

"I know you like things perfect Natalie," the cool craftsman began, "so we should get together because I think we would be perfect together."

* * *

><p><strong>BoxAlisa<strong>

"I know you worship the Harvest Goddess Alisa, but I think you're the most beautiful Goddess around." The young priestess turned bright red at the young apprentice's compliment.

* * *

><p><strong>GillxCandance<strong>

"You might not be as outgoing as Luna, but I bet you can be just as _playful,_" said Gill with a suggestive glance at the shy blue-haired seamstress.

* * *

><p><strong>JuliusxLuna<strong>

"My, my Luna, you are quite the doll. How about we play dress-up? I'll start by undressing you~" The flamboyant man started to tug at the dress of the younger seamstress and she didn't bother to protest.

* * *

><p><strong>KaseyxSelena<strong>

"Selena, why don't you do a _special dance_, just for me?" The farmer arched his brow suggestively at the curvy dancer as the dancer contemplated his words.

* * *

><p>Okies, so the first requests are done~ Please send in more guys :D These are pretty fun :] I'd recommend to stay away from the anti-social ones cause they can only be so dirty xD Haha~ But I'm sorry to say I can't do any of the Rune Factory ones cause I've never played them before and I'm too lazy to go Wikipedia all their personalities :P<p>

Well~ Seeya guys next time :D


	9. Requests 2

Here are more requests~ Pwnapple suggested that I just do some bachelor/main farmer girl so I' might do some of those for my favorite pairings~ I've been lazy so I haven't gotten to starting Grand Bazaar yet but I think I can get the personalities down my reading about them from Ushi no Tane :P

REQUESTS ARE STILL OPEN!

So~ Onward with Requests Part II! :D

* * *

><p><strong>GalexVivi<strong>

"Putting a spell on me is useless…I am already entranced…by your beauty…" The Witch smiled deviously at the ego-boosting comment from her 'rival.'

* * *

><p><strong>PierrexLuna<strong>

"I know how it feels like to be called a child," started the childish Gourmet to the young tailor, "I think we can do something to prove to everyone we aren't children…"

* * *

><p><strong>WillxChelsea<strong>

"My dear Chelsea, I have never seen eyes as radiant of a blue or lips as sweet a pink. Won't you and your beauty keep my company tonight?" Will's charming yet suggestive words tainted the bandana wearing farm girl's cheeks a soft rose.

* * *

><p><strong>VaughnxChelsea<strong>

"Hmph. Well I guess I like you more than I like carrots." Chelsea sweat-dropped at the cowboy's attempt at a compliment. Well it was better than nothing.

* * *

><p><strong>LukexCelia<strong>

"Hey Celia, I'm going to pick you up and toss you on the bed and do lots of_ fun_ things with you! Chopping wood has given me a lot of stamina for things that require a different_ tool_ that isn't an axe!" The young farmhand turned scarlet and her doe-brown eyes widened as the energetic carpenter advanced on her.

* * *

><p><strong>PierrexLillian<strong>

"If you entered yourself for the Cooking Contest, you'd win for sure cause you taste so good~" The Gourmet winked at the violet-eyed farm girl, who was more than a bit baffled.

* * *

><p>Vaughn's reminded me a lot of Harvest Kings :P Meh but it works I guess! xD Well keep the requests coming! :D<p> 


	10. Requests 3

Wow. Sorry for not updating in like forever xD Guess it's a mix of laziness and craziness at school.

Well~ REQUESTS ARE STILL OPEN!

Okies~ Onwards to the "wooing"!

* * *

><p><strong>KaseyxCandance<strong>

"I know you're shy Candace, but let's see how much you can open up in bed," the farmer glanced suggestively at the bluette, causing her to turn a bright scarlet.

* * *

><p><strong>IvanxAnita<strong>

"Maybe I can _teach_ you a few things my dear Anita..." the schoolteacher trailed off as he threw the young farm girl a knowing glance.

* * *

><p><strong>PhillipxAlisa<strong>

"You may worship the Harvest Goddess, but in my eyes, you are the goddess that should be worshipped." The priestess blushed lightly at the blue-eyed farmer's sweet compliment.

* * *

><p><strong>DennyxLeia<strong>

"You are quite the catch Leia! But how about I use _another rod_ the next time." The tanned fisherman smiled widely at the mermaid.

* * *

><p><strong>AngelaxLuke<strong>

"Yo Angela! You should feel this biceps! They're super hard!" Angela blushed as her mind automatically thought of something else that might be _super hard_.

* * *

><p><strong>AngelaxGill<strong>

"Why don't we go into my office and do some hard work…" The young mayor-to-be whispered into Angela's ear, tempting her to do as he asked.

* * *

><p><strong>LukexKathy<strong>

"Kathy! You should wear something even shorter when you're riding them horses! That'd be a great sight!" Kathy glared playfully at the carpenter, while at the same time considering his request.

* * *

><p>I think I'm running out of ideas for these pick-up lines Dx I still have yet to do the ones from The Grand Bazaar so that'll be coming eventally! xD<p> 


	11. Zephyr Town

I am soooooo very sorry that it has been forever since I've actually update this! Buuuut~ It's time for the Bachelors of Zephyr Town from The Grand Bazaar! I hope you guys enjoy!

* * *

><p><strong>Angelo<strong>

"I have seen and created many works of art," started Zephyr Town's artist, "but you, Daisy, are more beautiful than any piece of art."

* * *

><p><strong>Dirk<strong>

"Antoinette! I might look young, but how about I show you what _mature_ things I can do with you!" Dirk winked at the scarlet-eyed girl.

* * *

><p><strong>Ivan<strong>

"I may be able to teach you a few things Freya, but in return, you should be a good student." As innocent as that sounded, many dirtier things were implied with Ivan's suggestive emerald eyes.

* * *

><p><strong>Lloyd<strong>

"There is no gem or ore in the world as rare and lovely as you, my dear Sherry." Said girl blushed at the former world traveler's word.

* * *

><p><strong>Amir<strong>

"Anita, dear. You are my most precious princess." The prince whispered these words into the young farmers ears, causing the blonde to turn a light pink.

* * *

><p>I have some requests that will come up soon! Probably tomorrow or Wednesday! I'm still open for some requests if you guys want! Thanks for the patience :]<p> 


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